Archive for the ‘Humorous (to me anyway)’ Category

Stitched: Bear Drinking Lemonade

For my little brother’s 30th birthday:

Chef Bear likes Lemonade

I thought he could use a towel for the kitchen in his new house. I found this pattern in the Hoop Love Vintage Transfers pool on flickr. There are some wacky vintage patterns out there and this just cracked me up. I knew my brother would appreciate it. There are several companion pieces – bear with fruit salad, bear with soup, and more for your stitching enjoyment.

This actually isn’t the only crafty thing I gave him – stay tuned this week for a tutorial that I think you’ll enjoy!

Best. Commercial. Ever.

Because sometimes, Druids might want to go camping…or to a football game.

I’m sick and feel awful and am losing my voice but I laughed for five solid minutes. Enjoy.

Commitment to Parody

Found this little gem at the end of the Veggie Tales’ Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything. Enjoy.

It all started out so simple…

Last month signups for fall soccer began in our small town. We asked Monkey if he wanted to play – a big “YES” was the reply – so we got him signed up. BHE did the signup and at the time, signed up to assist. He did this as much to be involved as to ease himself into learning about the game, because maybe, if Monkey got super-involved in it, MAYBE he would coach one year.

But mainly, BHE signed up to be sure the coach wasn’t a big psycho. Heh.

So, I get a call from BHE while in the Walmart picking up Spiderman PJs for the Monkey (on clearance for $7, ya’ll).

BHE: “I got a call from [local soccer bureau]?”

Me: “OK.”

BHE: “They said they don’t have enough coaches for next year, and they need me to coach.”

Me: “Did you tell them that you know nothing about soccer?”

BHE: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, what did they say?”

BHE: “They paused. Then they said they just really needed coaches.”

Me: “So you’re coaching.”

BHE: “Yes.”

Now, ya’ll should know that, despite his total inexperience in the area (BHE has never even played soccer, much less coached it before), I am sure BHE will rock as a coach because he can do anything he sets his mind to. However, just in case, we ordered this book today, and about died when we read the inside flap description: “You thought you were just going to sign up your child for the youth league. Now here you are, a newly annointed coach. You didn’t ask for it, but it happened anyway. Now you need help.”

Boy, does he need help. Ya’ll, he’s teaching 4 year olds soccer, and at this point knows about as much as they do about the game. Plus, he’s going to be Monkey’s coach – and after my last round teaching his class for Sunday School, we kinda swore that this was the last time until he was a bit older.

They’ll have fun. But is it mean that I giggle my way through the rest of my Wally World run?


There’s a word that I think has been overused in our language, coming up in all manner of contexts to the point of ridiculousness:

Although the new technologies are fascinating and sexy, the big principle that is stressed throughout the book is to concentrate on the particular relationship with the consumer and reader and worry about the specific technology in the context of this relationship.

I put it there in bold AND highlighted it for you. Yes, that’s the word sexy, and it’s being used to talk about circulation marketing and social technology/media. Listen, I work in circulation, and there’s nothing remotely “sexy” about it. I like my job, but come on.

I think my distaste for the word “sexy” combined with anything marketing came along when The Apprentice was first on. All of the sudden, everything was sexy. Dish detergent? Sexy! Motor oil? Sexy! Home Depot? Sexy! Accounting services? OK, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t on there, but if it was – sexy!

It’s ridiculous. I mean, let’s look at the word defined:

sex·y –adjective, sex·i·er, sex·i·est.

1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risqué: a sexy novel.
2. sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality: the sexiest professor on campus.
3. excitingly appealing; glamorous: a sexy new car.

I’ll concede that the 3rd definition leaves a lot of leeway, but I have to wonder if that 3rd point in the definition was an add-on due to recent societal use. What do you think?

What does this say about me?

I scored 100% on this quiz.

And yes, I do have better things to do with my time.

You’ve Got Mail, Heathen

Who’s going to be around at You’ve Been Left Behind to conduct ISP relations? Maybe the group should employ a staff of the damned to make sure things go smoothly after all those who are saved disappear. Some Unitarians would probably be up for the job—they’re such an amenable bunch, after all.

Otherwise, imagine Satan standing at the gates of hell laughing manically and telling a seemingly endless procession of new souls: “You should have checked your spam folders! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Caught in the act…

So, BHE set up a bird feeder in a nice tree next to our house. We’re trying to keep the redbirds and their friends happy, especially since the redbirds have set up a nest in our rosebushes. We appreciate their company. Anyway, BHE has noticed that a LOT of birdseed has been consumed regularly…I blamed the squirrels, to which BHE said “there’s NO WAY that a squirrel would eat a half gallon of food!”.


Caught in the Act

In the background…

Quite possibly the worst movie I have ever seen is on…Batman and Robin.

The scene: Chattanooga, Summer 1997. The situation: Two friends and I visiting our Chattanooga-native friend for a few days. She had to work, so we killed time in Chattanooga’s lovely downtown. Went to the candy store. In the midst of my friend’s chocolate candy was a stray chocolate-covered nut. She, allergic, barely puts it in her mouth when she immediately realizes what’s happened. After she drinks tons of water, she decides we need to get out of the heat so she can deal with her reaction (she’s forgotten her emergency shot)…we hit the local theater to watch the above-mentioned fine film. She spends the better part of the movie tossing her cookies in the bathroom.

I spend the better part of the movie jealous of my friend….because the movie is just that bad.

I’ve got some beachfront property in Oklahoma I’d like to sell this guy…

Poor guy.