There’s one thing I don’t get about marital relationships – and if you fall into this category, I am sure that you have a perfectly lovely marriage and I am in no way passing judgement on those who fall into that category…here goes:
The husband and wife that constantly pick at each other.
I’m not really talking about playful picking. I get that. BHE and I do that to a degree. I think playful (non-hurtful) picking is natural after time together, and in many ways demonstrates a comfort level as well as an understanding of one another.
Recently we attended a gathering where two couples, just slightly older than us, engaged in the behavior I don’t get: comments like “I knew you wouldn’t get it” when playing a game, things like that. Again, I’m sure they’re perfectly happy, but it’s not how I would address BHE, especially not in public. It’s just so negative, and I don’t understand addressing someone you love and hopefully respect in that manner.
It really hit home when I – for the first time – watched a little Jon and Kate Plus 8. Again, not judging…OK, maybe I am, but they did put themselves on TV and all – but how the wife, Kate, addresses her husband is ridiculous to me. Very bossy, yet passive aggressive. I just don’t get it. I know they have 8 kids and are stressed and again, I watched the show once, so if you’re their biggest fans and come across my little home here, again I am just basing my remarks on watching this show for a few minutes.
Now, I’m not saying that a woman should subordinate herself to the man…no, no, no. But I definitely think that there should be mutual respect within a marriage, and it’s almost like some couples – and maybe our culture has changed to encourage this – have forgotten that mutual respect that I find to be so essential. I mean, if you don’t trust and respect your spouse – what do you have?