I got the craziest piece of mail yesterday. Probably the craziest piece of mail I’ve ever received. Ever.
I scanned over the letter, which basically told me that they had enclosed a spiritually-infused (I don’t recall the exact wording but it was along those lines) prayer mat. The letter instructs me to use the mat tonight – put it under my pillow, on my Bible, whatever – and then return it to them in the postage-paid envelope the next day so it can be passed on to other people that need it. There was also a PROPHECY enclosed – only to be unsealed and read after returning my mat (I don’t remember this being in the Bible, but I’m not the best Bible scholar either).
But wait – there’s more! The mat has an artistic interpretation of Jesus on it. His eyes are closed – but the letter revealed that after staring at the mat for a few moments, His eyes will open! Wowzers! FYI – the prayer mat is paper – not too heavy a weight – and the eyes are embedded (sp?) under the closed eyes – think a easy version of the old Magic Eye pictures from the 90s.
I was so intrigued by the whole thing that I googled the supposed church and – surprise, surprise – they’re a total scam. You know, the kind of “church” that plays on peoples’ faith and financial/personal troubles for their own financial gain.
So you know, I didn’t feel guilty one bit for putting the whole mess back into their envelope – their postage-paid envelope – and letting them pay for the return of their materials. I don’t mind junk mail overall – I am in a mild form of direct mail, afterall – but business is one thing – scamming people over is a whole ‘nother issue.
Of course, being direct mail-savvy, I was sure to remove the bar code and address placed on the back of the envelope – no doubt, put their so they can know who to keep sending their scam materials too – and adding a note that I’m onto the whole thing, and oh yes, I don’t need a paper mat to pray to God. So they’ll get this BRE (business-reply envelope) with two rectangle-shaped holes in the back and my sweet note.
I was maybe a bit ridiculously proud of myself.
On a brighter note – going to see Foo Fighters Saturday night. RAWK!